my blob is boring

So here are some fun pics and random captions from the last...whatever.













Helping Angie with failed dress #1. Or not helping...with failed dress #1.
















wheels-off night at pete's piano bar with inappropriate sales guys...the 2 red heads were the MOST ghetto
















Leeners and me at the Palladium...we're cute.





















Leeners takes artsy pics...she should be an artsy photographer.
















Good times getting high by proxy at the Steve Miller concert. There is maybe nothing cooler than laying on a blanket on a summer night listening to swingtown...think about it.

a fair distance

Between you and me
Between one and three

From war to peace
From west to east

In youth and age
In red and gray

Through right and wrong
Through silent songs

To want and fear
To wasted years

I’ll hope you’ll leave
I have to keep

A fair distance

Between you and me

signature

There's something True about gray.
Somber and resolute,
Secure and hidden,
Vulnerable and rigid.

There's something True about you.
Vagrant and communal,
Hurt and loyal,
Blithe and unaware.

There is some Thing True.

landscaping

my married friends are happy
with cookie-cutter apron strings
their antiqued white cherry trees
and though the faux stone houses fall
they build their backyards out and tall

pink crystals on their chandeliers
grow dust and gray across the years
reflecting smiles that pity me
and envy what the world could be
guess my old forgotten soul will sing
while all you think about is me

lazy susan rocking chairs
on porches wrapped with sweet tea fare
settled into subtleties
and all you'll think about is me

You're Invited

be hatched or go bad

So the recurring topic lately is truth, capital "T"? or no? And maybe on a less eternal level, certainty, capital "C"?

Is it really even a topic or are we just a bunch of usurpers?

That's one of my favorite words, you know, usurp.

If there is some One from which to wrongfully seize authority, I vote for Truth. Otherwise where there's no infraction there's no penalty.

But where I've had to "deconstruct" is in the matter of my own pride. I believe Christ is Truth. I believe Christ is in me. I try, and FAIL everyday in imitating Him, and little by little I hope the pretense becomes reality. I believe if Christ is in me and if Christ is Truth than I have Truth in me. The Word active and living within me, not bound by my own constraints to interpret language or intention or concept. Truth, free because it Is, to be interpreted through me...potentially. So whether or not I have come to some cognitive understanding of Truth based on reading a Book, or a book, or listening to scholars, or studying philosophies, or because Mrs. Torbert taught that lesson in Sunday school, Truth is outside of my ability to be certain of it. I hope, I believe, I've had a glimpse of it, if only in His life.

I spend most of my day wrongfully placing my self on my throne, considering my own happiness and, maybe even worse, my own opinion. 

Wanting more of Christ while hoping that fits into my idea of what completion is. 

As oil is to water so is my aspiration to Christlikeness to my, little "h", happiness. So it's not even that I have compromised, it's that I have tried to marry two things that simple cannot exist. Big "M" Me and Christ.

So either I'm completely deconstructed as in DIED, or I go bad. God reveals Himself in nature. I hatch, which is the non-refundable, the end of me. Or I go bad?

Or does it explode?

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is like a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore-- And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over-- like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes